We can define an abusive relationship as one in which two people have a relationship, but there is excess power. In this way, one subdues the other. In these relationships there is a record of frequent violence. This violence can be physical, moral, psychological, sexual and property, and in some cases it can occur together or separately. However, for a relationship to be characterized as abusive, violent behaviors must be recurrent and increase in intensity over time.
An abusive relationship is also known as a toxic relationship, as those who suffer from it become sick, especially psychologically. The individual starts to no longer believe in himself, becoming dependent on the other, often not seeing that this relationship hurts.
Every day, we have news about cases of femicide, and some rarer reports of abuse suffered by men, perhaps due to the shame of the situation. However, even in cases where there is no death, the relationship can leave deep marks on its victims. Abusive relationships can also occur in work, family and friendship environments. Abusive relationship beyond dating and marriage
Abusive relationships can occur in other types of relationships such as work, family and friendships.
In the workplace: Generally, in hierarchical relationships. This means that the behaviors occur between superiors and their supervisees. Thus, it always happens that the superior seeks to humiliate, diminish and contradict the subordinate, often saying that the subordinate is not capable, or puts a defect in everything he does. There are greater and unattainable demands constantly placed on this one, which are not placed on others. It seems like a continuous attempt to make the other person wrong.
In the Family Environment: These are situations such as those in which parents make their child feel smaller or less loved until they comply with their specific demands. For example, when parents say that their child will be less loved or respected for not following a certain profession, or when their child is rejected for not continuing with the family business, they are committing abuse, that is, not every abusive parent is the who sexually abuses.
In friendships: It can be seen when a friend starts to ignore, or always tries to inferiorize the other, always having the need to show themselves better, making the victim only happy if they have them by their side, it is clear that the concept is applicable in any relationship in which one person seeks to exercise excessive power over the other. There is a search for inferiority and dominance over others, leaving them at the mercy of their existence.
How to recognize an abusive relationship
To do this, it is necessary to understand the various definitions of violence in order to allow the person to see if they are suffering from it. Let's see:
Physical Violence: It is the intentional use of physical force to hurt another, which can cause bruises, broken bones, punctures and pain, through hands or objects, such as a knife, piece of wood, among others. Moral Violence: Moral violence occurs through slander, insult and defamation of others. There is always the intention to diminish and provoke social rejection of the person by another or a group. Psychological Violence: These are emotional attacks. This is the moment when a person makes comments belittling, threatening, discriminating, rejecting, among others, with the intention of hurting, hurting, offending and humiliating the other. Sexual Violence: This is when, through coercion, advances, threats, comments, one tries to obtain sex against someone's will. Every time a person is forced to have sex against their will, regardless of whether they are married or dating the individual, it constitutes sexual violence. This violence also occurs when a person in a vulnerable state is abused. Patrimonial Violence: Patrimonial violence is considered to be the retention of any document, property, money, belongings, rights and economic resources by one of the parties. In other words, when one of the people holds what belongs to the other to keep him or her a prisoner of the relationship. Signs that characterize an abusive relationship: Constant monitoring: The person cannot do anything without first informing the other person. Social networks always monitored. Exaggerated jealousy and intense demands.
Dominance by one of the partners: One always tries to humiliate, diminish, inferiorize the other, with a need to say that the other is nobody without him, so that he will never find someone better. Often making the other person feel like a crazy person who starts to doubt themselves. Selfishness: In this situation, the person makes the other believe that only they matter. That only her feelings should be considered and only she has real problems. That only her wishes should come true, in other words, the abuser makes the person think that they need to change their habits and regulate themselves to others, canceling themselves out. This way, it becomes clear that his life matters. Thus, it is the victim who needs to fit into the other's life. Betrayals: Frequent betrayals are observed in the relationship, inducing the other person to think that they occur due to the victim's fault in order to justify them. Use of punishment to continue in the relationship: The abuser always presents a situation that makes the other person tend to treat him or her like a poor thing and continue in the relationship, implying that he or she will change and needs help. of the victim for change to occur. The feeling of pity is motivated by the victim's compassion in wanting to help the abuser, especially in the case of drug use, psychological problems, alcoholism, social differences, among others. The abuser always uses this vulnerability to justify his behavior, which is often violent. Furthermore, you want to keep the individual in question close.
How to act when faced with an abusive partner
You may be in an abusive relationship or know someone in this situation. In all cases it is important to ask for help and offer help. Therefore, Psychoanalysis helps both the victim and the abuser, in the sense that it seeks to understand the reason for both victimistic and abusive behavior. We can observe that the abuser always seeks to interfere with the victim's emotions to leave them under his power. Therefore, it is important to emphasize that when identifying themselves in an abusive relationship, the victim seeks to raise their self-esteem, strengthening themselves emotionally, with the help of professionals in the subject, friends and, even alone. Once you believe in yourself, you will see that you don't need to submit to a relationship that makes you feel smaller. Only with self-knowledge will the victim once again recognize themselves as a capable, intelligent and loved person, and will be able to put an end to this type of destructive relationship. Therefore, it is important to talk to someone in the process, and surround yourself with people who encourage, support and help with healing. Auscution, which is a deeper listening, is essential to help instructing rediscovery, and the demonstration of compassion and encouragement from friends helps the person to overcome.
No one is alone
It is important to emphasize that you should not judge others or yourself. When a person suffers violence in an abusive relationship, regardless of gender, they will always be the victim, remembering that it is never easy to get out of this situation.
No one is alone, there are psychological support groups for victims. There are support networks for victims, both in virtual and physical environments. If you find yourself in this situation, or know someone who is going through this, report it and seek help!
Remember that an abusive relationship does not only occur between couples. It can happen to women, men and children. Pay attention to the signs. We are all special and deserve the best. Adapted by: Andrea Campos
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